Balance Baby

S1E3 A Journey to Self-Awareness: Embracing Change and the Power of Meditation

• Harkaren • Season 1 • Episode 3

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Embark with me, Harkaren, on a transformative odyssey toward the heart of self-awareness and the enlightening practice of meditation, as I unravel the secrets to embracing change—a hurdle we often stumble over due to deep-seated fears and the relentless grasp of our own egos. Feel the thrill of curiosity as it lights the path for personal growth, and discover with me how to rewire your cognitive framework for a life more authentic and controlled. Through anecdotes of my own struggles and triumphs, I'll guide you through the maze of self-talk, helping you to dismantle the resistance that barricades your progress.

Then, let's gently shift our focus to the tranquil realm of meditation, where the simple act of being can unlock a treasure trove of benefits from easing stress to sharpening our awareness of the present moment. I'll recount tales of my meditation journey, from the initial challenges to the unexpected epiphanies, hoping to inspire both seasoned meditators and those newly curious about the practice. Together, we'll explore the significance of ambiance, the shared energy in group sessions, and the potency of solo reflection. Join our community on the BalanceBaby podcast on Instagram as we toast to each victory and extend a supporting hand to one another, on our collective quest for joy, fulfillment, and the delicate equipoise of life.

Join our community of radiant souls. Subscribe and tune in every Wednesday to hear the latest episode. Be a part of a vibrant tribe that supports, inspires, and grows together.

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Harkaren:

Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the podcast designed to help you consistently show up as the best version of yourself. My name is Harkaren and I'll be your host. I'll be here every week sharing stories and teaching you techniques to prioritize the only thing we have any control over in this world Ourselves. Self-awareness is a superpower. It enables us to navigate life with clarity and purpose. It's a skill that requires a level of honesty that goes beyond surface level truth being honest not only with others but, most importantly, with ourselves. I've been encouraging you to become curious about yourself. Curiosity is the gateway to self-discovery. I promise you to ask tough questions and seek genuine answers. It's about understanding not only our actions and reactions, but also the driving forces behind them. This journey of curiosity is not always comfortable. It might lead you to confront aspects of yourself that you've been ignoring or burying within you. It's in these moments of discomfort that we experience the most significant growth. So keep going, even if it gets tough. The ultimate goal is to reach a point where your sense of self is so profound and unshakable that no external voice can define you. It's essential to remember that you are the author of your own story. Last week, we focused on the importance of shifting our thoughts in a more positive direction. I taught you about cognitive restructuring, positive self-talk and practicing reciting a mantra. I hope you've begun implementing these strategies in your life. If you haven't, you might be experiencing resistance to change.

Harkaren:

Change triggers fear in many people. This fear happens because change brings uncertainty. You don't always know what will happen. People like things to stay the same because it feels safe and comfortable. When what's familiar gets disrupted, it can make people nervous and anxious. Change also brings the worry that things might not go well or that they won't be able to handle the new situation. The thing is, change is inevitable, whether you're seeking it or not. Learning to embrace change is a gradual process that requires you to adopt a growth mindset. It requires adaptability, resilience and openness. There are several factors that come into play when we think about change as we discuss. The first one is fear. That could be a fear of failure, a fear of rejection, a fear of the unknown, a fear of inadequacy, and I'm sure there are so many more.

Harkaren:

Another thing that can make change hard is our ego. Our ego tries to keep us safe by sticking to what we know and protecting the version of ourselves we're used to. So when you decide you're done with your old life, your ego might kick in. It doesn't like the idea of you changing because it thinks it's keeping you safe, but in reality it could be keeping you stuck and holding you back from reaching your full potential.

Harkaren:

I like to think of the ego like a helicopter parent. For those of you who aren't familiar, helicopter parenting is when parents tend to be overprotective of their children. They micromanage and hover over their children in an attempt to control circumstances. Their intention is to keep their kids safe and protect them from any problems or challenges, but often they can stifle their children's growth, their ability to develop independence, resilience and problem-solving skills. Similarly, the ego operates as an internal overprotective force. It tries to micromanage our thoughts and actions, always hovering over our decisions, to make sure things stay within a familiar and safe territory.

Harkaren:

The ego doesn't like the idea of change because it interprets it as a potential threat. It might create doubts or fears to stop you from moving forward. It wants to keep things predictable, but it can also hinder personal growth and keep us stuck in familiar patterns. Becoming self-aware is a powerful tool in this process, when you understand that fear might be holding you back or that your ego is trying to keep you in your comfort zone. You gain the ability to make more conscious decisions. Once you're aware of these factors, you can start challenging them. Ask yourself is this fear really justified? Can I handle this change, and could it lead to something good? By questioning these thoughts, you begin to weaken their grip on you. Some days you might feel extremely motivated to improve your life and other days you might not. Those conflicting thoughts are stemming from the ego and from a place of fear. Embracing change becomes easier when you recognize that fear and ego are natural parts of being human, but they don't have to dictate your choices. It's about taking charge of your own narrative, understanding that change is often a necessary part of growth and moving forward despite the discomfort. So the next time fear or your ego tries to hold you back, acknowledge them, challenge their influences and take a step towards the positive changes you've envisioned for yourself. Like I said before, the techniques are simple, but they're not easy. Making positive changes will require consistent and thoughtful effort on your part.

Harkaren:

There is so much power in embracing change. When we open ourselves up to new possibilities and willingly step into the unknown, we discover the potential for personal growth and transformation. When we learn to adapt and face changes with a positive mindset, we become more resilient in the face of life's challenges. It's like building a strong foundation that can withstand the storms, knowing that each change brings an opportunity to learn, evolve and become stronger. Instead of being a passive bystander, we become active participants in our own lives, fostering a sense of empowerment. We take control of our narrative, shaping our experiences and steering our journey. It's about realizing that change isn't just something that happens to us. It's something we can actively engage with and use to propel ourselves forward towards a more authentic existence.

Harkaren:

My main reason for bringing this up is that if you're finding your feeling resistance to change, know that it might be your subconscious mind and your ego working against you. But now that you know this, you can actively take back control of your narrative. You can use the tools I taught you to reframe your negative thoughts and embed positive thoughts within your mind. The more you practice, the easier it'll get and slowly but surely, you'll make progress in the right direction. Let's break this down a little. Let's say you have three negative thoughts for every positive thought. You'll be caught in a negative feedback loop and it will show in your life experiences. Things will progressively get worse and you'll feel like you're spiraling downwards. But then you have a moment of self-awareness. You begin to question and reframe your negative thoughts. Now you've gotten to a point where you have one negative thought for every positive thought. This is a much better place to be, but you still feel indecisive when you're forced to make changes. You don't completely trust your judgment and you're anxious and worried that you might make the wrong choice. But you persevere and continue doing the work, knowing and trusting that your life experience is improving. Eventually you get to a place where you're having three positive thoughts for every negative thought.

Harkaren:

At this stage, the transformation in your mindset becomes increasingly evident. The positive shift in your thought patterns has a ripple effect on your actions and your life experiences. You find yourself making decisions with more confidence and conviction. The fear of making the wrong choice decreases as you develop a deeper trust in your own judgment. As you continue cultivating a mindset dominated by positive thoughts, you'll likely notice improvements in your overall well-being. Instead of viewing obstacles as insurmountable barriers, you'll see them as opportunities for growth and learning. But you might be surprised to learn that positive thinking is not the best defense against negative thoughts.

Harkaren:

While positive thinking is valuable and will contribute to an optimistic mindset, a more effective strategy is learning how to quiet your mind. This can be done through meditation and mindfulness. Positive thinking alone can sometimes feel like putting a bandaid on a deeper wound. Through meditation and mindfulness, you learn to observe your thoughts without getting entangled in them. When we talk about quieting the mind, we're not just talking about silencing the chatter, but also creating a mental space that allows for clarity, focus and a more balanced perspective. Although quieting the mind is a more powerful strategy, it can often feel more difficult to master.

Harkaren:

I still remember the first time I tried meditation. It was in 2013. And as I'm creating these podcast episodes, I'm realizing what a transformative year 2013 was for me. It was when I had my first therapy session, when I tried my first meditation and when I got my first job as a nurse. All of these components have played a huge role in who I am today. And in case you forgot, what was going on in 2013, 2013 was when Drake released his album. Nothing Was the Same and Kobe Bryant sunk two free throw shots immediately after tearing his Achilles. Just a little blast from the past.

Harkaren:

Anyways, back to my story. I was working a corporate job in downtown Vancouver. I was walking around on my break one day and I walked past a place called Chopra Yoga Studio. I recognized the Chopra name because I was a fan of the Deepak Chopra. He was my first introduction into the world of spirituality. I'm not sure what it was about him Maybe because he's also South Asian, or maybe his calming voice but I used to love listening to his insight. His book, the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, was the first spirituality-based self-help book I ever read. Back then I used to watch the Oprah Show and he was frequently one of her guests.

Harkaren:

I saw a sign in the Yoga Studio window that mentioned drop-ins for daily group meditation. I had been curious about meditation because it seemed like all the affluent people in the world meditated. It was like a big secret back then. Only the rich and famous knew about it. The four people I mentioned Drake, Kobe, Deepak Chopra and Oprah all emphasized the transformative benefits of meditation and mindfulness. Today, meditation and mindfulness are more mainstream than ever before. If you look at your favorite entrepreneurs, musicians, authors and athletes, you'll notice that most of them, if not all of them, have some sort of daily meditation or mindfulness practice. They are living your dream life, so it makes sense to take a page out of their book.

Harkaren:

The next day I went back to the studio and had my first group meditation session. Up until that moment, I thought in order to meditate properly you needed to sit cross-legged, with the back of your hands resting on your knees, with your pointer finger and your thumb connected to make a circle. You know that stereotypical meditation pose, but I was completely wrong. The studio encouraged us to sit or lay, however was most comfortable. They had cushions and backrests and blankets to help us get comfortable. The instructor dimmed the lights and began guiding us on a body scan from the top of our head down to our toes. She told us to relax our eyes, drop our tongue from the roof of our mouth, release any tension in our neck and shoulders, and continued to proceed downwards. There was soft music playing in the background and the whole experience was extremely relaxing. When our time was up, the instructor brought us back into awareness by using a singing bowl. It was a powerful experience and I enjoyed the relaxing benefits. I continued to attend the group meditation every day because of how good it felt to sit in silence. Meditating in a group setting can amplify the collective energy in the room, since we all had the same intention and focus. It allowed us to go deeper within ourselves and enhance the overall meditation experience In that group meditation setting was the first time in my life that I ever had an out of body experience.

Harkaren:

I've had about three more experiences since then, but not while meditating. It was surreal. We were meditating in a circle, as we always did. I don't know exactly how it happened, but suddenly I was outside of my physical body. I was still in the room, but I was floating above the group circle close to the roof and looking down and seeing everyone sitting silently with their eyes closed. My physical body was sitting in the circle and I could see that it was me, but my consciousness was not in my body. It's such a difficult feeling to describe. You've either felt it or you haven't. I don't even think I knew what an out of body experience was before I experienced it for myself. It seems like it could be scary, but it was actually not scary at all. There's a calmness and a deep knowing that everything is alright After that profound experience. I tried to replicate it, but I wasn't successful. I'm grateful that I had the experience at all.

Harkaren:

Eventually I transitioned into solo meditations and now this is my preference. And even though I had such an amazing experience with meditation and I enjoyed the way it made me feel, I still struggled to be consistent with it. Then I would be hard on myself for missing my daily meditation and obviously that's counterproductive. It's a skill like any other and it will take repetition and consistency to get good at it. In the last three years or so, I've been consistent about 80% of the time with my meditation practice. Currently, as of the last few months, I've been meditating for 15 minutes a day, twice daily. I look forward to those moments of tranquility. Sometimes I like to follow guided meditations with talking, other times I prefer to just listen to meditation music.

Harkaren:

Believe it or not, you can eventually get to a place where you don't have any thoughts racing through your mind. You're just existing. Meditation offers a range of benefits for both the mind and the body. When you meditate, you enter a state of focused relaxation, reducing stress and promoting a sense of calm. Regular meditation can enhance emotional well-being by helping manage anxiety and improving your mood. Physically, meditation has been linked to lowering blood pressure and improving immune function. Over time, it can contribute to better sleep patterns and an overall increased sense of self-awareness. Essentially, meditation provides a valuable space to recharge, center yourself and create a positive and balanced outlook on life.

Harkaren:

These days, it's so easy to get into meditation. You can choose to start with an in-person instructor or a group setting, like I did. You can look up thousands of guided meditations online for free. You can use countless apps that will teach you, or you can just set a timer, sit in a quiet place with your eyes closed and focus on your breath. If you're having trouble getting into meditation, start with mindfulness. Mindfulness is a practice of being fully engaged in the present moment. It is the act of observing without judging. I like to practice mindfulness by engaging all five of my senses whenever possible.

Harkaren:

So the next time you're outdoors, try the following With your eyes notice the light and shadows around you. Notice the vibrant colors of the leaves and the flowers around you, the intricate details of each leaf and each petal, the way the sun reflects on the water, all the shades of blue in the sky. Now shift your focus to what you hear the sounds of the water crashing, the birds singing, maybe a distant conversation. Just observe, without focusing on what's being said or needing to pinpoint where the sounds are coming from. Next, shift your focus to touch. Notice the feeling of your clothing on your skin. Feel the textures in the environment around you. Focus on the bottom of your feet. Notice what your feet feel like in your shoes. Notice the feeling of the breeze on your face. Now take a deep inhale and focus your attention on your smell. Notice the natural fragrances around you, the earthiness, the flowers, the fresh ocean air and, lastly, the tastes associated with the environment. If you're near the ocean, maybe you notice the salty tang in the air. Or in a forest, maybe you notice the earthy scents and flavors. Or if you're drinking a beverage, notice the taste, temperature and sensations of the liquid.

Harkaren:

Another mindfulness exercise you can try anywhere is to sit quietly and close your eyes and focus on your breath. Start with five minutes at a time and increase it from there. Direct your attention inwards and visualize the journey of your breath. Picture the air flowing in through your nostrils, filling your lungs, and then visualize it gently releasing, leaving your body. Observe the rise and fall of your chest or the subtle expansion and contraction of your abdomen. Notice the soft inhale and gentle exhale. Notice the sound and rhythm of your natural breath. Place your hand on your chest or abdomen, feel the subtle movements with each breath cycle, sense the coolness of the inhale and the warmth of the exhale. Anytime you feel the need to center yourself, find calm or be present in the moment, turning your attention to your breath can be a grounding practice. This simple act of directing your attention to your breath is like a mini meditation that you can carry with you throughout your day. It's always there, a reliable anchor to the present moment whenever you need it.

Harkaren:

Thank you so much for tuning into my third episode. I hope that, with increased awareness, you're beginning to notice small changes within yourself and within your life experience. Remember to praise yourself for every small accomplishment. The journey of self-development works best when we build momentum, stay focused on your goals and remind yourself why you're doing this. We are learning to show up as our best and most authentic selves. We're on a mission to live a more joyous and fulfilling life and we're not going to stand in our own way. Head over to my Instagram at BalanceBaby podcast and click follow. Send me a DM and let me know what you thought about this episode. I would love to hear from you and understand some of the challenges you might be facing in your self-development journey. I leave you with a quote from the late and great Kobe Bryant.

Harkaren:

I" meditate every day. I do it in the mornings. I do it for about 10 to 15 minutes. It sets me up for the rest of the day. It's like having an anchor. If I don't do it, I feel like I'm constantly chasing the day, as opposed to being able to be controlled and dictate the day. Not that you're calling the shots on what comes forward, but the fact that I'm set and ready for whatever may come my way. I have a calmness about whatever comes my way and a poise. The reality is, we're paying attention to so many things that are going on around us. We don't take the time to really observe what's going on inside of ourselves, and that comes from starting the morning off with meditation. Together here, we're creating a community of beautiful souls, ready to uplift each other, ready to experience all the joy that this life has to offer us. And don't forget life is all about balance, baby.