Balance Baby

S1E10 Finding Alignment Through Surrender and Letting Go

• Harkaren • Season 1 • Episode 10

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Have you ever held onto a grudge so tight that it felt like an anchor, dragging down your spirit? I, Harkaren, have been there, and on this special 10th episode of Balance Baby, I’ll guide you through the liberating process of releasing those burdens. Step into a world of personal transformation as I unfold the nuances of letting go and surrender, revealing how these practices can lead to profound growth and resilience. From personal tales steeped in resilience to actionable insights, we'll traverse the thin line between harboring past pains and stepping into a luminous future of acceptance and trust.

Celebrate with me the harmony of aligning with your true self, and how it magnetically draws abundance and positivity into our lives. This episode is a heart-to-heart on cultivating high vibrational states of gratitude, love, and joy—states that don't just elevate our own lives but ripple out to touch others. I invite you to join our community of beautiful souls, as we learn to interpret the subtle nudges of the universe and embrace the possibility that sometimes, what seems like life unraveling is actually a set-up for a remarkable alignment. Let’s embark on this journey together, one of balance and joy, and discover the serendipitous beauty of second chances.

Join our community of radiant souls. Subscribe and tune in every Wednesday to hear the latest episode. Be a part of a vibrant tribe that supports, inspires, and grows together.

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Harkaren:

Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the podcast designed to help you consistently show up as the best version of yourself. My name is Harkaren and I'll be your host. I'll be here every week sharing stories and teaching you techniques to prioritize the only thing we have any control over in this world Ourselves. Have you heard that the universe will keep giving you the same lesson until you learn it? Well, I've realized that there's at least one lesson that you will continuously have to relearn and remaster throughout your lifetime. It's the lesson of impermanence the concept that everything changes and nothing lasts forever. In our lives, we will constantly be forced to let go of things, good and bad. Maybe you're asked to let go of your anger and resentment towards somebody who wronged you. Maybe you're asked to let go of a relationship that's making you physically sick. Maybe you have to let go of a job you love or a home you cherish. Maybe you're forced to let go of someone you love because of distance or death. Regardless of the circumstances, the lessons remain the same we have to learn to release our grip, understanding that clinging too tightly only leads to our own suffering. It's a lesson that requires courage, vulnerability and resilience, and in order to master it. We need to shift our mindset around it.

Harkaren:

When I think about letting go and surrender, my mind goes in so many different directions, so let's start by clearly defining the difference between these terms. Letting go involves releasing attachment to outcomes, emotions or situations that no longer serve us. It's about allowing things to unfold naturally, without trying to control or manipulate them. Letting go often involves releasing the past, forgiving yourself and others and embracing the present moment. Surrender goes beyond letting go and involves a deeper sense of trust and acceptance. It's about surrendering to the flow of life and releasing the ego's need for control. Surrendering means having faith that things will unfold as they are meant to, even if it's different from what you had planned. It's an act of humility and trust in the greater intelligence of the universe. When we tap into our intuition, it becomes so much easier to surrender and to trust that everything is going to work out. But if you're still very ego-driven, you might continue struggling against the natural flow of life.

Harkaren:

Everything I've talked about on this podcast up until this point all interconnects with everything I'm going to talk about today, so that means things like meditation and mindfulness are going to help you in surrendering and letting go, and knowing where you're at on the vibrational scale of alignment will give you guidance into what other things you might need to release in your life. As always, I'm going to do my best to make this relatable and share some vulnerable stories from my life to help you bring these concepts home. So let's start where we always do, which is with ourselves. I truly hope that you're starting to enjoy the idea that all change begins with us. I personally find it very comforting and empowering to know that at any given moment, I can make small changes in my day or in my life that will cause a huge cascade of effects. Maybe not immediate effects, but my life experience has taught me that there will be a ripple effect and I will reap the benefits of making better decisions.

Harkaren:

We've all heard a variation of the quote resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, and now that you have an understanding of the vibrational scale of alignment, you can see how true this is. When we harbor resentment towards others, we're not only poisoning our own emotional well-being, but it's attracting negative energy and low vibrations into our lives. Resentment vibrates at a low frequency, dragging us down into a state of bitterness and victimhood. We become trapped in a cycle of blame and resentment and we're unable to break free from the toxic patterns that keep us stuck in a state of suffering. Or maybe you're not resentful, but maybe you did something hurtful to someone that you care about. Maybe you said something you regret and now you've caused damage in that relationship. Maybe that person wants nothing to do with you anymore. You could beg and cry and plead, but we have no power over other people.

Harkaren:

If someone is hurt by your actions and they choose not to forgive you, it can bring up a lot of low vibrational feelings like guilt or shame or remorse. You might find yourself replaying the scenario over and over in your mind, desperately wishing you could turn back time and undo the harm you've caused. But the truth is, once words are spoken or actions are taken, they can't be undone. In moments like these, it's natural to experience a sense of powerlessness. You might feel tempted to try and force reconciliation and to make amends at any cost. You could apologize and commit to making changes. However, true healing and reconciliation can't be forced or rushed. It requires patience and a willingness to accept responsibility for your actions. It might involve giving the other person space and time to process their emotions. But ultimately, whether or not forgiveness is granted is beyond your control. You have to learn to let go of the outcome and trust in the natural unfolding of the situation.

Harkaren:

There is no point in dwelling on past mistakes. We can't go back and change what's happened. Any energy we put towards it is a waste of energy. Holding on to guilt and self-blame only perpetuates the cycle of suffering and prevents you from moving forward. Instead, practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness, recognizing that you are a human and prone to mistakes. Learn from your actions, commit to growth and self-improvement and strive to do better in the future. By releasing yourself from the burden of guilt and embracing the lessons learned from your mistakes, you can begin the journey towards healing and reconciliation, both with yourself and in the relationships with others. Now you're moving through life with some experience and understanding.

Harkaren:

The key is to let go of what happened and then surrender to what is. I know this is easier said than done. Trust me, I have been through a lot. Life has taught me this lesson many times and the lesson hasn't gotten easier. I've just gotten better at handling it.

Harkaren:

Truthfully, I used to dread letting go of anything, even the bad things, like if someone hurt me, I wanted them to know how shitty they are and how terrible they should feel. I would make sure they knew that I was unhappy with them, but I was just keeping myself stuck in a low vibration in the process. On the other hand, if I made a mistake, I would let guilt eat me up and ruin my day. Neither of these situations were serving me, but I had a subconscious fear of change, so I would often self-sabotage. Sometimes we self-sabotage in order to keep things the same and in order to keep things predictable. It took a lot of work to undo these beliefs, but now I absolutely love knowing that life is constantly changing and that there's an ebb and flow to life.

Harkaren:

I embrace the unknown with excitement and optimism. I understand that when I let go of something, it creates room for new people and new experiences to enter my life. The unknown is what makes life worth living. I can think of a handful of experiences that were the pillars of my spiritual journey. Each one of them pushed me deeper into exploring my spirituality, trying to understand what life is about. They were big moments that made everything click for me. Whenever I felt lost or confused, diving into my spirituality helped me find some peace and understanding. It was like having this safe space where I could sort through all the craziness of life and find some balance within myself.

Harkaren:

The most profound catalyst for my change happened in 2019, and this is when I truly understood the power of letting go and surrender. This isn't the easiest thing to talk about, but it is part of my life story. So, as I courageously embrace vulnerability, I hope you're inspired to do the same. Sometimes, life will push you to a point of frustration, a frustration so deep that it motivates you to make drastic changes in your life. This is where I had gotten to Throughout my 20s.

Harkaren:

I was in one relationship. It was my first and only long-term relationship. It wasn't perfect, but I was pretty blind to the issues I was experiencing Back then. It wasn't like it is now. We didn't have therapy-level relationship advice available to us on the internet or maybe we did, it just wasn't talked about as openly as it is now. I love that people now have lists readily available for them of what's a red flag and what's a green flag.

Harkaren:

Gaslighting is common knowledge, and so is narcissism, and we know how to tell if someone's manipulating us. We understand boundaries, communication and mutual respect. With this awareness, we're not just stumbling blindly into relationships. Instead, we're making informed choices about who we let into our lives, choosing partners that enrich our lives rather than drain us emotionally. But, like I said, this wasn't really common back then, so I didn't know at the time that what I was experiencing in my relationship was abnormal and, honestly, in comparison to the relationships around us, we were a pretty good couple, but let me tell you that bar was low. Anyways, we were together for almost a decade. The relationship ended in a short marriage and subsequently a divorce. Yes, I am happily divorced. My divorce will come up more than once in this podcast because there are so many layers to it, but the intention today is to tell you a story about the power of letting go and surrender.

Harkaren:

Leading up to my marriage was not a flawless process. There was a lot of passive-aggressive interactions between my partner and I and there was definitely some toxicity, but again, not even close to what we witnessed in the relationships around us. We both felt a little bit of familial and societal pressure, but we also both wanted to get married. I wasn't madly in love with this man. It just felt like the next natural step in our relationship. I remember being newly married, sitting alone in my bedroom and asking out loud Is this it? This is my life? Now I'm married to this guy. This is my family, these are my jobs. We go on a trip a few times a year. We'll have a couple of kids and I'll repeat this for the next 50, 60 years.

Harkaren:

Keep in mind, at this point in my life I was not a very aligned person. I was completely out of balance. I've always been a positive person and I've always worked on being a better person, but my mindset was nowhere close to where it is now. I wasn't happy, but I didn't even understand the extent of my unhappiness. I wasn't connected to my intuition, so I wasn't trusting my gut instincts and I was ignoring all the signs the universe had been sending me. The question I asked out loud resulted in my life being flipped, turned upside down a complete 180. Everything started to fall apart and crumble all around me. I got scared, I panicked, I went into fix it mode. My mind was racing and I was constantly overthinking. My fear of change had been activated and I just wanted to take back what I had asked and go back to pretending I was happy. But sometimes not getting what you want is the greatest blessing of all. I had asked a question and I was given an answer, even if it's not the answer I wanted at the time. It was in these moments that I surrendered to the intelligence of the universe. I learned to start paying attention to the subtle clues the universe was sending me. I knew that his games were playing with my mind and I couldn't trust my mind because I was too emotional. Whenever something would happen and I didn't know what to do, I would ask the universe for guidance, and then I would patiently wait for my answer to be revealed to me.

Harkaren:

In hindsight, my divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. My life got exponentially better after my divorce. I was a shell of a human, filled with the ideas and opinions of others. I was so indecisive about every decision in my life because I didn't know how to trust my own judgment. I needed to let go of the woman I was. I needed to break, and my divorce broke me, and because of that, I was able to rebuild myself from scratch. There was now space in my life to learn and grow. I was able to recreate myself, form my own ideals and build habits to support the life I wanted. I was able to break free from the opinions of what other people thought was right or wrong for me. I taught myself that I know what's best for me. This is my life and I'll live it as my authentic self. I will forever be grateful for that relationship and for that experience, because it propelled me towards the woman I am today, divinely guided and inspired.

Harkaren:

Once I learned how to let go and surrender is when life truly became magical. Suddenly, I had a second chance to do everything I ever wanted. I had always admired women who traveled alone and I thought it was something I'd never get to experience. Suddenly, the opportunity was there. I was being nudged to step outside of my comfort zone and to learn to embrace this newfound freedom. Once I got my first taste of solo travel, I was hooked. I've been to Hawaii, la and, most recently, seven weeks in Europe Ever since I was a kid. I remember thinking that it would be so cool to live downtown Again. I thought I had missed my chance. But not only did I move downtown, I moved into my ideal neighborhood with a sunset view.

Harkaren:

Learning how to let go and let life guide me has been the greatest gift. My life is better than I could have ever imagined More joyful, more peaceful, more loving than I ever knew possible. I cherish every moment because it truly feels like my second chance at life. I prioritize staying aligned because I know everything else will work itself out for me. I focus on what I can control my mindset, my habits, my energy and in doing so, I'm inviting better people and better experiences into my life. Thank you so much for tuning in to my 10th episode.

Harkaren:

By practicing letting go and surrender, we make space for forgiveness, compassion and empathy.

Harkaren:

As we shift our focus towards gratitude, love and joy, we align ourselves with higher frequencies of energy, inviting in more abundance and harmony into our lives. Sometimes, when things feel like they're falling apart, they might actually be coming together better than you could have imagined, and this is why I'm so passionate about this podcast. I have witnessed a huge transformation in myself and in my life by following the concepts that I discuss on this podcast. I know how good it feels to be aligned and how much goodness flows to you from a place of alignment. Getting to tap into your intuition is the best thing you could do for yourself. Your higher self is always there, ready to guide you towards your desires. The universe is always communicating, you just have to be paying attention. Be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so we can continue leveling up on our journey together. Together, here we're creating a community of beautiful souls, ready to uplift each other, ready to experience all the joy that this life has to offer us. Don't forget life is all about balance, baby.