Balance Baby

S1E11 Mind-Body Connection: Decoding the Impact of Stress

• Harkaren • Season 1 • Episode 11

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When life threw me a curveball right before my wedding, manifesting as a tooth infection, I had no choice but to listen to the signals my body was desperately trying to send. This episode is a candid recount of that personal upheaval, and how it led to a deeper understanding of the mind-body connection, inspired by the insights of Eckhart Tolle and Dr. Gabor Maté. We'll uncover the transformative power of embracing the present and the dangers of ignoring our body's subtle warnings. Expect an exploration into personal milestones, the illusion of control, and learning how to let go to find authentic empowerment and balance.

The journey doesn't end with realizations; it extends into action and acceptance. I share the emotionally charged experience of grappling with sudden hair loss, known as alopecia areata, and how this condition impacted not just my own sense of self but is a struggle faced by many, including public figures like Jada Pinkink Smith. This narrative dives into the quest for answers and peace, from visits to a naturopath to understanding the profound effects stress can have on our bodies. By sharing our stories, we create a tapestry of resilience and support, and I invite you to add your thread. Together, we celebrate the strides made towards growth and the inner peace that comes from embracing life's unpredictability.

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Harkaren:

Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the podcast designed to help you consistently show up as the best version of yourself. My name is Harkaren and I'll be your host. I'll be here every week sharing stories and teaching you techniques to prioritize the only thing we have any control over in this world Ourselves. In the last episode, we discussed the power of letting go and surrendering. When we successfully do this, we empower ourselves by embracing the unknowns of the future. Too often, we find ourselves delaying change until we feel backed into a corner with seemingly no other options. We wait until the pressure becomes unbearable and we hang on to the familiarity, even when it's no longer serving us. When we step into the unknown, we take back control of our own lives. We no longer feel trapped by our circumstances or by the expectations of others. We develop our resilience and we become adaptable in the face of adversity. Embracing change is a truly beautiful and honorable step on our path towards showing up as our authentic selves. But we don't need to wait for things to get bad before taking these steps. Many times, people wait for devastating moments such as divorce, the loss of a loved one or hitting rock bottom, before they finally surrender and loosen their group and control. I remember having timelines for when I'd like to be married, by how many kids I wanted or at what age I wanted to have those kids In my life. Having timelines only caused stress and suffering.

Harkaren:

One of my favorite books is called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. In it he discusses the illusion of control. The author highlights how the ego's desire for control can fuel stress and anxiety. He explains how people often believe they can control external circumstances and outcomes, leading to frustration and disappointment when things don't go as planned. Tolle offers examples of how letting go of the illusion of control and surrendering to the present moment can alleviate stress and foster inner peace. Surrendering to the present moment with an attitude of acceptance allows things to be exactly as they are, without resistance or judgment. The author explains that resistance to situations only prolongs suffering and prevents individuals from finding peace and resolution. By accepting the reality of situations as it is, people can open themselves up to new possibilities and opportunities for growth.

Harkaren:

So the next time something doesn't go your way, I challenge you to drop your need to know how things are going to get better or why this is happening in the first place. Learn to accept what is. In the end, it doesn't matter why it's happening or why it happened. There's nothing you can do about it either way. Not only that, but the resistance to what is is only going to prolong your suffering. The more you resist what's happening, the more you're adding fuel to the fire. It's like trying to swim against a current that's pulling you downstream. It's exhausting, it's frustrating and it's only going to leave you feeling more stressed out and anxious.

Harkaren:

On top of that, stress, anxiety and tension begin to show up in our physical bodies. This is due to a topic we've touched on before, which is the mind-body connection. The mind-body connection refers to the intricate relationship between our thoughts and emotions and our physical health In the context of stress and anxiety. This connection becomes particularly relevant when people experience stress or anxiety. It often manifests in both mental and physical symptoms. So understanding this mind-body connection is crucial in managing stress and anxiety effectively.

Harkaren:

In the book when the Body Says no the Cost of Hidden Stress by Dr Gabor Mate, the author explores the relationship between emotional stress and physical health. He draws upon his extensive experience as a physician and his research into the mind-body connection to shed light on the detrimental effects of stress on the physical body. He explores the impact of childhood trauma, repressed emotions and societal pressures on the body's ability to maintain balance and wellness. Through compelling case studies and scientific evidence, the author demonstrates how chronic stress weakens the immune system, disrupts hormonal balance and contributes to the development of chronic diseases. He provides case studies such as Sarah, a woman in her mid-30s who had been experiencing chronic pain for years. Despite undergoing various treatments, her symptoms continued. Upon further investigation, it was revealed that Sarah had been suppressing feelings of resentment and anger towards her overbearing mother. Sarah's unresolved emotional issues were manifesting as physical pain in her body, highlighting the importance of addressing underlying emotional stressors. Another example is John, a successful businessman in his 50s who was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Despite receiving treatment, his condition worsened. The author delves into John's history of chronic stress and perfectionism, exploring how his relentless drive for success and the inability to express his emotions contributed to the development of cancer. This case underscores the impact of chronic stress on the immune system and the body's ability to fight disease. Dr Matei argues that many chronic diseases, including autoimmune disorders, cancer and heart disease, can be linked to the body's response to chronic stress.

Harkaren:

I myself resonate deeply with this sentiment because I've experienced it first hand. In the last episode I mentioned that the road to my marriage was not flawless. In fact, just a few days before my wedding, I developed a tooth infection. When I look back, this was the first red light the universe sent me to tell me to stop what I was doing. But there were also many stop signs leading up to this red light that I had already ignored. I had booked an emergency appointment with my dentist where she confirmed that my wisdom tooth needed to be removed. She took x-rays and prepped for my removal appointment. But upon examining my x-rays, she realized that the root of my wisdom tooth was too close to my nerve and I would need to have it extracted by a specialist. If you've ever tried to get in to see a specialist, you know how long it can take to get an appointment. My dentist called, emailed and faxed the specialist's office letting them know that this was an extra urgent case because I was a few days away from my wedding.

Harkaren:

The next morning I got a call from the specialist's office asking me to come in for a consultation. During my consultation, the specialist told me that he would need to remove two of my wisdom teeth. He mentioned that my cheeks might swell and there could be visible bruising. He said he would try to minimize the trauma, but everyone responds differently to wisdom tooth extractions. I told him that it was fine and the discomfort was worse than any bruising or swelling would be. Plus, we were having an intimate park wedding, not a big Indian wedding. But I was going to be leaving for my honeymoon a few days after my wedding and there was no way I was going on antibiotics because I intended to drink and I wasn't going to risk my health further by mixing alcohol and antibiotics. He laughed, but he was understanding, so he compromised and he gave me a medicated mouthwash instead of oral antibiotics. So three days before my wedding, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All in all, it was pretty painless. I didn't experience any pain, swelling or bruising. It was great. I was back on track to getting married and living happily ever after, or so I thought.

Harkaren:

The wedding itself went really well. I did my own makeup and one of my friends curled my hair for me. I know this is unheard of these days, but it was simple and it was beautiful. I think we had about a week between our wedding day and our flight to Singapore and Maldives. Sometime in that week I went to visit my best friend. On my drive home I was playing with my hair, as I often do, and I noticed a strange spot at the back of my scalp. It felt like there was a bald spot at the back of my head. My heart sunk and I pulled over. I tried to take a picture, but it was difficult. I did manage to capture a blurry image that seemed to confirm that there was in fact a bald spot on the back of my head about the size of a quarter. I immediately sent the picture to three people my best friend that I was just with, the friend who curled my hair for my wedding and my ex-husband. I stayed parked on the side of the road, unable to drive. As a nurse, my mind began racing, trying to figure out what could have caused this. It was so strange. It was a perfect circle and completely smooth to touch, like a baby, no stubble at all, like no hair had ever existed. While I was lost in my thoughts, my best friend was actively searching Google. My other friend had confirmed that the bald spot definitely was not there a few days ago when she curled my hair. Eventually, google led us to the conclusion that it was likely alopecia. I had barely been married three days and I had already developed alopecia.

Harkaren:

For those of you who are unfamiliar, alopecia is an umbrella term for hair loss and balding. While some types of alopecia may be temporary and reversible, others may be permanent and require ongoing treatment or management. There's scarring or traction alopecia, which can be caused by damage to the hair follicles or tension on the hair follicles. There's alopecia totellis or universalis, which is a severe form of alopecia characterized by total hair loss to the head, face and body. The most commonly known is androgenetic alopecia, also known as male and female pattern baldness. This is usually hereditary and causes gradual thinning over time. And finally, alopecia areata, an autoimmune condition in which the body's immune system mistakenly attacks the hair follicles, leading to sudden patchy hair loss. This is the one I had developed.

Harkaren:

Some of you might be familiar with Alopecia because of Jada Pinkett Smith. How could we forget that epic night when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife's shaved head? After the incident, jada Pinkett Smith addressed the situation on her social media accounts and shared her perspective on living with Alopecia and the challenges she's faced as a result. She speaks openly about the impact it has had on her self-esteem and how she has learned to embrace her natural beauty. By sharing her experience with Alopecia, she has helped to raise awareness about the condition and break down stigma around hair loss.

Harkaren:

During that period of time, however, my Alopecia was still a big mystery. I had decided that this wasn't going to ruin my dream honeymoon and I would deal with it when I got back. But can you imagine waking up in an overwater bungalow in Maldives, brushing your teeth, looking in the mirror and noticing what looks like another bald spot forming right in front of your eyes? Only this time it was forming in the center of my scalp, right where I part my hair, and, worse, the spot at the back of my head was growing too. Needless to say, my self-esteem was shot. I had so much anxiety that the slightest breeze would reveal the secret that I had been trying to conceal.

Harkaren:

For many women, their hair makes them feel feminine and beautiful. It's deeply intertwined with our sense of identity and self-worth. A woman's hair holds deep significance in shaping her outward appearance and inner confidence. It creates a sense of individuality and helps her create her personal style. Somehow the universe knew that by targeting my hair, I would stop at nothing to find a solution.

Harkaren:

When we got back, my first step was to book a doctor's appointment. I had some blood work done and everything came back normal. The doctor told me that I was perfectly healthy. I asked him what part of mysteriously losing a significant amount of hair in perfect circles seemed healthy to him. So yeah, he was pretty unhelpful.

Harkaren:

Meanwhile, the hair loss continued to spread. It was at its worst about six weeks after I initially discovered it. The quarter-sized bald spot was now the size of my palm. Can you imagine? Look at your palm right now and imagine a bald spot that size on the back of your head. It was so scary. The one on the front had merged with another and now I was forced to try to conceal them by parting my hair to the side.

Harkaren:

People had told me that steroid injections would stimulate the hair growth, but this was only a solution to a symptom. I was determined to find the root cause. Plus, the long-term use of steroids was bound to cause a whole bunch of other issues down the road. The cause of allopecia areata is unknown, so I was researching nonstop on the internet for anything that could help. That's when I came across a website of a local naturopath. She had written a blog about her personal experience with autoimmune conditions. As I was reading her blog, I resonated deeply with the self-esteem issues she described as a result of her allopecia. But her condition continued to worsen, affecting her vision and hearing. Her research into allopecia and autoimmune conditions was personal for her and she was able to heal herself. So I knew I needed to see her.

Harkaren:

I booked an appointment and she asked me a long list of seemingly random questions. I can't remember most of them, but one stood out for me. It was have you been having vivid nightmares, which I had? I was waking up in the middle of the night in a panic, and it was something I had never experienced before. She asked me if I had any recent life changes, and I told her I had just gotten married. She asked me if I was stressed about anything other than the hair loss, and I told her I wasn't. She did some more blood work, but it was more comprehensive than what the doctor had done.

Harkaren:

When the results came back, my IgG levels were extremely elevated. Igg, or Immunoglobulin G, is a type of antibody that plays a crucial role in the body's immune response. The elevated levels indicated significant inflammation in my body. My naturopath informed me that elevated stress had activated an autoimmune disorder that was dormant in my body. She did an allergy test, which confirmed that my body was in a heightened state of sensitivity and I was having internal allergic reactions to food I was consuming, further contributing to the inflammation in my body. It was a lot to take in.

Harkaren:

She put me on a very restrictive keto-style diet and I was required to take about 20 supplements daily. And, lastly, she advised me that the number one thing I needed to do was reduce my stress. The diet and supplements I could do, but stress. I didn't feel stressed, that is until I started to pay attention. I started journaling and reflecting and I realized that I was miserable. I'm not here to bash my ex or his family, although I could but what I will say is that I was not respected, supported or cared for. No one asked me how my appointments were going or if I had made any progress. When I would ask my ex to help me take progress photos, he told me he didn't want to because it was unattractive. This just goes to show what kind of person he was.

Harkaren:

Anyways, with time and through consistent effort, sticking to my diet and supplements, my hair started to grow back. It would grow back white and super soft, like infant hair, and then, as it grew longer, it would change to match my hair color. It was super bizarre and also interesting. But the most significant healing happened a few months later, when I officially separated from my ex and moved back to my parents' house. Not until I took this step did I realize how much stress I had actually been under. Leaving that toxic environment lifted a weight off my chest and shoulders and, for the first time in months, I was able to take a deep breath. I still remember how good it felt to lay in my bed in a home where I was loved and cared for. What a stark contrast. From that moment on, I knew everything was going to be okay. I made a promise to myself that I will never let anything like that happen to me ever again. Now that I was out of the toxic environment, my hair grew back rapidly, the inflammation in my body settled.

Harkaren:

The stressful challenges with my ex didn't stop after I separated, but it wasn't affecting me in the same way From a medical perspective. I was able to understand that my immune system was compromised by the chronic stress I was under and from all the emotions I was repressing because I was trying to keep the peace. I'm so thankful that I was able to find the support I needed. I'm so glad I found a professional who valued getting to the root of the issue as much as I did. I was so thankful for this newfound knowledge about the effects of stress on the body. I was grateful to have loving family and friends to support me through the most challenging period of my life, and I was proud of me for taking the steps I needed to ensure my own health and safety. Thank you so much for tuning in to my 11th episode.

Harkaren:

Stress is intended to spark change. My journey through alopecia was more than just a physical battle. It was a lesson in resilience and the transformative power of letting go. Through the ups and downs, I learned that true healing begins when we release the need for control and surrender to the flow of life. It's about acknowledging our vulnerabilities, embracing change and prioritizing our own well-being above all else. My experience taught me that stress isn't just a mental burden. It can manifest in physical symptoms and impact our overall health in profound ways. By addressing the root causes of stress and finding support from loved ones and healthcare professionals, I was able to reclaim my health, happiness and myself Sense of self-worth. Moving forward, I carry with me a deep appreciation for the importance of self-care, authenticity and surrounding myself with people who uplift and support me.

Harkaren:

My journey through alopecia may have been challenging, but it ultimately led me to a place of profound growth, resilience and inner peace, and for that I am forever grateful. Remember, no one will be as invested in your health and well-being as you are. So prioritize yourself, embrace the unknowns and trust in your own journey of healing and self-discovery. As always, I would love to hear from you. If this episode or any of my previous episodes resonate with you, please send me a DM on Instagram at BalanceBabyPodcast. I'll see you next week for the final episode of Season 1. Together here we're creating a community of beautiful souls ready to uplift each other, ready to experience all the joy that this life has to offer us. And don't forget life is all about Balance, baby.