Balance Baby

S2E7 From Guilt to Growth: Healing, Alignment, and the Art of Manifestation

• Harkaren • Season 2 • Episode 7

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Have you ever felt trapped by societal expectations, sacrificing your own happiness to please others? On Balance Baby, we explore the transformative power of manifestation and vibrational alignment, especially for women. Drawing from my own journey through therapy, separation, and divorce, I share how the teachings of Abraham Hicks helped me to break free from cultural conditioning. I’ve learned to prioritize my own well-being and shift away from the debilitating emotions of shame, guilt, and powerlessness. Discover how reconnecting with my true self led me to embrace my energy and live unapologetically.

Join me as I share an intimate look into the challenging yet rewarding path of self-discovery and authenticity. We delve into the process of unlearning deep-seated cultural norms and overcoming internalized guilt to fulfill our true needs and desires. Through introspection and boundary-setting, I highlight the importance of making choices that resonate with our true selves, fostering personal growth and well-being. My story aims to inspire you to break free from societal constraints, live authentically, and manifest your dreams. Together, let's create a supportive community that uplifts and empowers each other to align with our highest selves.

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Harkaren:

Hello everyone and welcome to Balance Baby, the podcast designed to help you consistently show up as the best version of yourself. My name is Harkaren and I'll be your host. I'll be here every week sharing stories and teaching you techniques to prioritize the only thing we have any control over in this world ourselves. I see everything as interconnected. In each episode of my podcast, I aim to tie together different ideas and concepts with some sort of cohesive theme, together different ideas and concepts with some sort of cohesive theme. My main focus is to share tips and insight on how to lead a fulfilling life, one that is aligned with your higher self. Having a solo podcast lets me explore topics deeply and share my own perspective. Through my podcast, I want to give you a glimpse into my thoughts on various aspects of life and what it takes to truly thrive and find happiness. Since we've been on the topic of vibrational alignment, I thought it would be fitting to dive into manifestation for this week's episode. What exactly is manifestation and how can we practice it? But as I reflected, I found myself thinking about my own journey with manifestation and the obstacles that I faced, what had held me back from creating the life that I truly desired, as you know, in 2013, I first dipped my toes into therapy, but I took a break for about four or five years, and it wasn't until 2019, during my separation and divorce that I fully re-engaged with the process. It was during this period of rediscovery that my therapist introduced me to the teachings of Abraham Hicks and I began to grasp the concept of vibrational alignment. I remember pouring out my heart to my therapist, unraveling the problems in my life. She always helped me make sense of my thoughts and my feelings. There was one moment in particular where she offered me clarity that I've kept with me. She described how, when I operated from a place of alignment, I felt a sense of effortless flow, as if life itself was guiding me. Challenges seemed manageable and I was at peace. However, she also pointed out how I often veered off course, driven by external influences and the desire to please others. These moments of misalignment pulled me away from my true path, leaving me feeling disconnected from myself. I started wondering why did I keep letting myself get off track? I knew how good it felt to be aligned, but I still let other things pull me away from it. So I started digging deeper to figure out why this is when I began to understand that I, along with many other women around me, had been conditioned to be people pleasers.

Harkaren:

In many cultures around the world, there is a strong emphasis on women and girls catering to others' needs before their own. This cultural conditioning often teaches us to seek validation through self-sacrifice and to prioritize the happiness of those around us, even at the expense of our own well-being. In my culture, there is a big emphasis that a woman's reputation is not our own. It is a reflection of our family. This belief puts so much pressure on us and leads us to sacrifice personal desires and to live without boundaries. We lived under the constant pressure of what will other people think? The constant pressure of what will other people think.

Harkaren:

Women are often expected to be selfless and obedient, basing their actions and decisions on what is deemed acceptable by our families and our community. This external validation becomes a key measure of self-worth, leading to the habit of people-pleasing. As a result, many of us grow up internalizing the idea that our value is tied to how we can meet the expectations of others. From such a young age, we're taught to abandon ourselves, that someone outside of us knows what's best for us. We were taught that putting ourselves first is selfish, and we were guilted into thinking that we have it easy compared to the past generations, and that's not a lie. We are blessed with opportunities that our ancestors could only dream of, but that's not the issue.

Harkaren:

The issue is the underlying message that our desires, needs and feelings are less important than fulfilling the expectations placed upon us. This conditioning creates a cycle where self-sacrifice becomes the norm and we learn to suppress our own voices, doubting our ability to make decisions that align with our true selves. Over time, this leads to a deep sense of disconnection from who we really are and what we want out of life. It caused us to live with feelings of shame, guilt and powerlessness. Feelings of shame, guilt and powerlessness, and sadly, these emotions are at the very bottom of the vibrational scale of alignment. When we are consumed by these feelings, we are completely misaligned with our true selves and our highest potential. From this place of misalignment, the actions we take are never truly aligned with our highest good. Instead, they are often driven by fear, insecurity and the need for external validation.

Harkaren:

Understanding this has helped me understand a lot of the choices I made in my teens and early 20s. It helps me understand why I chose my ex-husband to be my partner, and I see clearly the healing that needed to take place through the destruction of that relationship. There have been so many moments in my life where I felt alone or unseen, but those feelings only pushed me to connect deeper with myself. There is no one on this earth who knows what's best for me more than me. I will upset whoever I need by choosing myself. I spent so much of my life trying to please others, and now the only person whose opinion matters is my own. This is truly a beautiful and uplifting place to be, and all I want is for others to feel it too.

Harkaren:

Something truly magical happens when you recognize the beauty of your own energy. When you stop trying to dim your light and allow yourself to shine unapologetically. There is a beautiful wave of positivity that radiates from you. The same people who once tried to put me in a box now embrace who I am showing up as. Those who once sought to dictate how I should live my life can now see that I'm ever expanding, constantly evolving, and there's no turning back. It demonstrates the transformative power of self-love and self-acceptance. Sometimes I wonder who would I be if I was allowed to shine brightly from the beginning, if I was taught self-love and self-worth but dwelling on the past won't change anything and if I didn't go through all that I've gone through, I would not be me, and I love this version of me.

Harkaren:

I have taught myself how to live in vibrational alignment with my highest self and it feels so much sweeter because of all the struggle I had to overcome to get here. From this place of vibrational alignment, I can attract into my life the people and experiences I desire, and that is the key to manifestation. That is the very important point that is missing from most social media posts about manifestation. It's not just some buzzword. It's not a magic phrase that you repeat three times over three days to get what you want. It is when you create your reality from a place of vibrational alignment with your highest self. So when you're at the top end of the scale, when you're feeling love, joy, appreciation, empowerment and you deliberately begin to align your thoughts and emotions with what you want in your life, and then, when an opportunity arises, you take inspired action. In my own life, I have manifested many things many times, like a new job, a new home and even an encounter with AP Dillon. I'll save the AP story for another day, but today I'll tell you about how I manifested my apartment by the beach.

Harkaren:

It was March 2021, and my friend and I had gone out to get some food and catch up. Afterwards we decided to go for a walk around Falls Creek. While we were walking, I looked around at the buildings and their view and I said wouldn't it be amazing to live here? She agreed and asked if I was considering moving out. I told her no, I was just saying that because of the view. Although it would be nice to live alone, it wouldn't make sense right now and downtown would be too far. Because my sister was having a baby in a few months and I wanted to be nearby in case she needed my help. I had immediately shut down the idea without really giving it any genuine thought. Immediately shut down the idea without really giving it any genuine thought, but the seed had been planted, the desire was there and I was doing the inner work, so I was already in a place of alignment.

Harkaren:

Quickly, over the next few weeks, my home situation became unlivable and on top of that, unlivable, and on top of that, I was working from home full-time. I didn't have an office at my house, so I had a desk in my bedroom and essentially spent all day every day in my bedroom. Sometimes, when I feel lost or confused with the direction of my life, I'll do a tarot reading for myself for some clarity. This particular reading told me that a big change was coming and that my situation with a particular person wasn't going to improve until there was some space between us. To me, the message was clear. I had to move.

Harkaren:

I created a budget and I started browsing listings within like a 50 kilometer radius of my parents' house. I went to view a few places, but nothing was quite right. And then, about 10 days after my search started, I saw a posting for a place in the False Creek neighborhood. The posting had been up for less than 24 hours and it seemed too good to be true. It was downtown, it was pet-friendly, it was furnished with utilities included and in-suite laundry, and it was within my budget. I was almost certain it was a scam, but I decided to send a message anyways.

Harkaren:

I got a call from a woman the same day. She said she was the assistant of the property manager and just wanted some more information about me. After our brief chat, she gave me the property manager's number and asked me to call him to arrange a viewing. I immediately googled the phone number and it was legit. I was cautiously optimistic. We arranged to meet at the unit on a Thursday. The previous tenant was still there, so I got to chat with him for a bit. I told the manager that I was ready to proceed with the next steps and he asked me to submit an application to him, which I did that night. I didn't hear back from him for a day and then two days, and then I started to get a bit worried. I decided to call him and follow up, and good thing I did, because my application had gone to his spam folder.

Harkaren:

Within one week of the viewing. I had signed the lease. I was about to start living out a childhood dream of mine to live downtown on my own and in my ideal neighborhood at that. All because I asked, wouldn't it be amazing to live here? And then followed my intuitive guidance. The experience of living alone deepened my love and appreciation for myself and created an even deeper trust with the universe. In hindsight I could see how that experience was essential for my soul's evolution, so I believe it was my intuition that led me there for a walk that day and to ask the question. It was the universe that rearranged my circumstances and challenged me to embrace change, and it was synchronicities that made everything align in perfect timing. No-transcript. Thank you so much for tuning in to my seventh episode of season two.

Harkaren:

The journey to self-discovery and authenticity was not an easy one. It involved unlearning a lot of cultural conditioning that shaped my early life. I had to confront the internalized guilt and shame that had been instilled in me and learn to prioritize my own needs and desires. This process required a lot of introspection and, in many ways, a re-education on what it means to live authentically. As I began to understand myself better, I realized the importance of setting boundaries and making choices that aligned with my true self, rather than simply rebelling against the old ways. This shift in perspective was crucial for my personal growth and well-being. It allowed me to start living a life that was true to who I am, rather than one dictated by external expectations. This experience has been transformative, and it's something I continue to work on every day. Been transformative, and it's something I continue to work on every day.

Harkaren:

By sharing my journey, I hope to inspire others who may be struggling with similar issues, it's possible to break free from cultural conditioning and to live a life that truly reflects who you are.

Harkaren:

The path is not always easy, but it is deeply rewarding and it's an essential step towards finding true happiness and fulfillment. I understand now that I have the privilege of being guided by my intuition and manifesting my desires, but only because I've put in the work to dismantle the conditioning that once held me back, by establishing boundaries that may not align with the beliefs of the older generation but definitely keep me aligned with my highest self. I've reclaimed my power and get to truly live the life I deserve, and get to truly live the life I deserve. Through this process, I've learned to trust my inner voice and honor my true desires, paving the way for a life that is authentically mine. And the cherry on top is that the universe supports us in manifesting our dreams when we are in alignment with our true selves. Together here we're creating a community of beautiful souls, ready to uplift each other, ready to experience all the joy that this life has to offer us. And don't forget life is all about balance, baby.